[ billy tells him to fuckin' go - and gator grants his wish. he gives it a moment, then steps out completely before shutting the door. he walks back down the stairs, turning his walkie back on. bowman hasn't pulled back up yet, so gator texts him to come around in five minutes. as he leans against the lower garage of the apartment building, he allows himself one minute. just one. that's all he can afford against himself, against his father's teachings stringing themselves across his mind and pulling. tears fall, and gator bends over again, unable to breathe. he can feel roy's knee in his gut, his ribs - gator lets out a shuddering breath, collecting himself. it's as if he's drowning, pulled down by stones, but he has to swim to the top.
i am a winner.
standing up again, he wipes tears away with his palms, then clears his nose and spits it. once he's satisfied that there's no trace of what he's just done, gator steps away from the garage and near the curb. he doesn't turn to billy's window, he doesn't make any more attempts at a goodbye. he wants to, he wants to see billy's face, but there isn't time for that anymore. gator hangs his thumbs from his beltloops, jaw tensing. when bowman pulls up, gator slides into the passenger's side, signaling for him to head back.
what happened, gator? whipped his ass. he ain't gonna be a problem anymore. well, shit, gator! roy's gonna be proud.
roy's gonna be proud. gator pulls out his vape with a smile, one that looks so much like he means it. he takes a long drag, rolling the window down. maybe the the wind will dry the mist in his eyes, the way he hopes this was all worth it. ]
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i am a winner.
standing up again, he wipes tears away with his palms, then clears his nose and spits it. once he's satisfied that there's no trace of what he's just done, gator steps away from the garage and near the curb. he doesn't turn to billy's window, he doesn't make any more attempts at a goodbye. he wants to, he wants to see billy's face, but there isn't time for that anymore. gator hangs his thumbs from his beltloops, jaw tensing. when bowman pulls up, gator slides into the passenger's side, signaling for him to head back.
what happened, gator?
whipped his ass. he ain't gonna be a problem anymore.
well, shit, gator! roy's gonna be proud.
roy's gonna be proud. gator pulls out his vape with a smile, one that looks so much like he means it. he takes a long drag, rolling the window down. maybe the the wind will dry the mist in his eyes, the way he hopes this was all worth it. ]