[ gator picks up his cap after dressing β layers upon layers, the cold already infecting the house. his bulletproof vest is on his chest, and his uniform covers him from head to toe. he can't help the flash of anger in his body, and it's enough to keep him warm for now. he glances over at billy as he dresses, gator picking up his gun and checking it. he pulls back the spring, then flicks the safety on before holstering it. there's no real difference between gator having a gun or not β he's just as dangerous, just as full of violence as the weapon itself. his fists, his boots β there are several ways to break a man under all of it β save for billy.
he's not broken enough. calling him, crying, asking him to come over β maybe gator got the wrong idea about it. rutting into him, telling him it'll be okay, and maybe that was a lie. nothing is okay, not now, and gator doesn't think ever. this will have to be slow poison, it'll have to rip billy apart before he knows what's happening. gator has his own plan for when they arrive at billy's apartment, and it's going to be brute fucking force. he's going to get his way, whether billy likes it or fucking not.
brushing past billy to unlock the door and make his way out, gator's silent as he descends the stairs. he doesn't look for billy to follow him, he just goes, no one else in the house awake at this hour. he strides out of the house to the nearest patrol suv, unlocking it with the key fob. the alarm chirps, and gator climbs inside. he turns it on, the heater already full blasting. he pulls out his vape, taking a long drag, then looks out of the window, waiting for billy to get his ass inside the suv. he has no patience, as he hasn't really slept β coffee it'll be today. he knows that it's not going to go well β that's a damn understatement β but gator is ready to stay up for as long as he needs to. ]
[ Billy follows close behind Gator as they leave his room, like if he lingers too long something might jump out of the shadows and drag him back in. Or maybe Gator'll just drive off without him and leave him stranded. The dread of it drives his steps forward, taking quick glances around the house as he passes. It's strangely sterile, too neat and tidy to seem lived in, all while having this rustic, country look to it. It doesn't feel real to him, but these are the Tillmans, after all. Hard men for hard times and all that. To Billy it feels more like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, if only the Sawyers had housewives.
He breathes in deep when he steps outside, closing the door to the house behind him. Good riddance. Then Billy follows Gator out to the SUV, taking one last look at the house before climbing into the passenger seat. The heat is much appreciated, but doesn't quite seem to warm him. He rubs his hands together before letting them rest on his thighs, warm air blowing over them.
Billy rests his arm against the window once they get going, leaning his head into his palm. It's been a long, long night, and all he can think about is downing a handful of painkillers and crashing in bed for the rest of the day. He finds the steady roll of the SUV along long, straight roads almost hypnotic, enough to find his eyes closing, dozing off for a couple of minutes at a time before snapping up in his seat again. ]
[ gator glances over, watching billy nod off. that's better, as he's about to get a rude fucking awakening when they reach his apartment. gator keeps the suv under the speed limit, knowing that he'll have to take his time. lure, threaten, destroy. it might as well be the tillman family motto. the warmth of the heater gives them some solace in the bitter, snow-thick ground. over country roads is where gator finds himself, jaw clenched. he gazes at billy again before making a turn, blinker clicking and clicking. when the light turns green, gator pulls onto billy's street.
as they drive, gator has thoughts in his head. violence, force, brute strength. he knows he's stronger than billy β that's been proven, the weak one in the passenger seat still dozing. woman. he's gator's, despite not knowing what will come next. gator's boot hits the break as they pull in, the suv climbing over dirt, eating it under its tires. when they arrive at the complex β gator stops, putting the suv in park. it's still on, the heat climbing, but their bodies cold enough to absorb it all. leaning back in his seat, gator takes another drag of the vape, smoke billowing through the suv. he doesn't crack the window, it's far too cold, so he clicks his tongue to get billy's attention β like a dog. ]
Get your ass up. You got shit you gotta do.
[ gator's lips purse, smoke still leaking from the corners. he blows the rest out of his nose, then grabs billy's knee, shaking him. ]
[ The first few times, Billy wakes himself up after a few minutes, but this time he really nods off, his head slowly dropping forward. Even if he hadn't been awake all night, this is far earlier than he tends to wakes up on his own. Late nights mean late mornings.
He doesn't even wake when Gator speaks up at first. He hears him, somewhat, but the words don't mean anything. Once he shakes Billy by the knee, he snaps his head up straight, nearly jumping out of his seat. ]
Christ. Okay. I'm up.
[ Billy unbuckles his seat belt, then pulls the half-empty pack of cigarettes from his pocket, plucking one out to tuck it between his lips. He doesn't light it, just looks over at Gator, hand already on the door handle. ]
Thanks for the ride.
[ He opens the door, eager to get out, to get away from him. By the time he's finished this smoke, he's sure he'll be ready to crash face first into his mattress and forget Gator Tillman exists for a little while. Stepping out, he closes the door behind him and stalks toward his apartment building, not looking back as the snow crunches under his boots. ]
[ gator watches billy exit the suv, silent. watches him pull out a cigarette, silent. watches him saunter to his apartment, silent. the suv's engine still rumbles, and when gator kills the engine, it's the coldness of his heart that leaks into it, freezing the air. his jaw tightens, teeth on teeth, squeezing. he wants billy's flesh between them, tearing off pieces that belong to him one by fucking one. he wants billy to writhe underneath him as he suffocates him with love.
opening the door and stepping out himself, he slams it, walking around the front. he stares at billy for a moment, then follows him over the snow, boots making large tracks. he passes billy, walking up the stairs, stopping in front of the door. he folds his arms, jaw jutting to the side as he waits. he knows this will throw billy off, but he doesn't care, and he can't care about anything other than what's going on. he needs billy to be with him β call it sickness, call it twisted, but that's what his love means. or, at least, what gator sees as love. billy is his β body and soul. he owns him, and billy has to know that.
as he blinks slowly down at billy, he nods toward the door. he could break it down, he could grab all of billy's shit for him β but he'd rather see the shade of dark surprise wash over billy's eyes. it's almost like hunting deer β the light leaving their eyes as the bullet cuts deep. that's what gator is doing β he's hunting, and billy is the poor, innocent thing trekking through the forest. he must have him. ]
Get up here and pack your fuckin' shit. You think I'd let you slip away that easy?
[ there's a solid meanness to gator's tone, authoritative, as if this is somehow billy's last chance. it is, in a way, as roy instructed gator to not let him leave. if he sees too much β gator's jaw sets again, eyes dark and freezing. ]
[ Billy hears the door to the SUV slam shut, and with it come Gator's footsteps, following close behind him. He should've known this wouldn't be the end of things for today - at bare minimum, Gator will feel the need to punish him. Slap him around, choke him, make him remember that even out here, on his own? Billy belongs to him.
But Gator passes him up the stairs, standing still in front of the door to his apartment. Billy frowns, blowing smoke through his nostrils as he stops on the staircase, a few steps below him.
You think I'd let you slip away that easy?
Billy's face falls, lets his gaze drop with it. He should've known. He really should've known. Gator was never going to let this go, let him go, and he'd been stupid enough to think his anger would be enough to change his mind. Like it's not just fuel for the fire, the actions of a spoiled little boy who can't take no for an answer.
The last few stairs feel like he's being asked to climb mountains, but he does as he's told when Gator snaps at him again, pushing past him to unlock the door. He can follow him inside if he wants to, but Billy doesn't look back.
Flicking the lights on, this place couldn't feel farther than the Tillman house. No photos on the walls, no wood or stone or anything rustic to be seen. It's the standard shade of landlord white, dull laminate floors, devoid of personality. But it's his. That's the crucial part. How could he ever expect Gator to understand that when he's still living in his childhood bedroom?
Billy goes to his bedroom first, hauling a large suitcase out of the closet, throwing it onto his mattress on the floor. He unzips it, taking a large empty duffel bag out of it, unzipping that too and laying it out on the bed.
He's silent as he starts pulling clothes from his dresser drawers, throwing them into the suitcase. It's not like he has a huge wardrobe - jeans and button-down shirts, mostly. He'd been so damn proud moving in here. Finally, his life was going to start. He'd work through the summer and then get out of here for good. Then summer turned to fall, fall to winter. And now he's leaving, and it couldn't be for worse reasons.
By the time he's moved away from the dresser to open the closet, his vision is blurred with tears, blinking them away as he sniffles to himself.
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he's not broken enough. calling him, crying, asking him to come over β maybe gator got the wrong idea about it. rutting into him, telling him it'll be okay, and maybe that was a lie. nothing is okay, not now, and gator doesn't think ever. this will have to be slow poison, it'll have to rip billy apart before he knows what's happening. gator has his own plan for when they arrive at billy's apartment, and it's going to be brute fucking force. he's going to get his way, whether billy likes it or fucking not.
brushing past billy to unlock the door and make his way out, gator's silent as he descends the stairs. he doesn't look for billy to follow him, he just goes, no one else in the house awake at this hour. he strides out of the house to the nearest patrol suv, unlocking it with the key fob. the alarm chirps, and gator climbs inside. he turns it on, the heater already full blasting. he pulls out his vape, taking a long drag, then looks out of the window, waiting for billy to get his ass inside the suv. he has no patience, as he hasn't really slept β coffee it'll be today. he knows that it's not going to go well β that's a damn understatement β but gator is ready to stay up for as long as he needs to. ]
no subject
He breathes in deep when he steps outside, closing the door to the house behind him. Good riddance. Then Billy follows Gator out to the SUV, taking one last look at the house before climbing into the passenger seat. The heat is much appreciated, but doesn't quite seem to warm him. He rubs his hands together before letting them rest on his thighs, warm air blowing over them.
Billy rests his arm against the window once they get going, leaning his head into his palm. It's been a long, long night, and all he can think about is downing a handful of painkillers and crashing in bed for the rest of the day. He finds the steady roll of the SUV along long, straight roads almost hypnotic, enough to find his eyes closing, dozing off for a couple of minutes at a time before snapping up in his seat again. ]
no subject
as they drive, gator has thoughts in his head. violence, force, brute strength. he knows he's stronger than billy β that's been proven, the weak one in the passenger seat still dozing. woman. he's gator's, despite not knowing what will come next. gator's boot hits the break as they pull in, the suv climbing over dirt, eating it under its tires. when they arrive at the complex β gator stops, putting the suv in park. it's still on, the heat climbing, but their bodies cold enough to absorb it all. leaning back in his seat, gator takes another drag of the vape, smoke billowing through the suv. he doesn't crack the window, it's far too cold, so he clicks his tongue to get billy's attention β like a dog. ]
Get your ass up. You got shit you gotta do.
[ gator's lips purse, smoke still leaking from the corners. he blows the rest out of his nose, then grabs billy's knee, shaking him. ]
I said get the fuck up.
no subject
He doesn't even wake when Gator speaks up at first. He hears him, somewhat, but the words don't mean anything. Once he shakes Billy by the knee, he snaps his head up straight, nearly jumping out of his seat. ]
Christ. Okay. I'm up.
[ Billy unbuckles his seat belt, then pulls the half-empty pack of cigarettes from his pocket, plucking one out to tuck it between his lips. He doesn't light it, just looks over at Gator, hand already on the door handle. ]
Thanks for the ride.
[ He opens the door, eager to get out, to get away from him. By the time he's finished this smoke, he's sure he'll be ready to crash face first into his mattress and forget Gator Tillman exists for a little while. Stepping out, he closes the door behind him and stalks toward his apartment building, not looking back as the snow crunches under his boots. ]
no subject
opening the door and stepping out himself, he slams it, walking around the front. he stares at billy for a moment, then follows him over the snow, boots making large tracks. he passes billy, walking up the stairs, stopping in front of the door. he folds his arms, jaw jutting to the side as he waits. he knows this will throw billy off, but he doesn't care, and he can't care about anything other than what's going on. he needs billy to be with him β call it sickness, call it twisted, but that's what his love means. or, at least, what gator sees as love. billy is his β body and soul. he owns him, and billy has to know that.
as he blinks slowly down at billy, he nods toward the door. he could break it down, he could grab all of billy's shit for him β but he'd rather see the shade of dark surprise wash over billy's eyes. it's almost like hunting deer β the light leaving their eyes as the bullet cuts deep. that's what gator is doing β he's hunting, and billy is the poor, innocent thing trekking through the forest. he must have him. ]
Get up here and pack your fuckin' shit. You think I'd let you slip away that easy?
[ there's a solid meanness to gator's tone, authoritative, as if this is somehow billy's last chance. it is, in a way, as roy instructed gator to not let him leave. if he sees too much β gator's jaw sets again, eyes dark and freezing. ]
I said pack your fuckin' shit. Now.
no subject
But Gator passes him up the stairs, standing still in front of the door to his apartment. Billy frowns, blowing smoke through his nostrils as he stops on the staircase, a few steps below him.
You think I'd let you slip away that easy?
Billy's face falls, lets his gaze drop with it. He should've known. He really should've known. Gator was never going to let this go, let him go, and he'd been stupid enough to think his anger would be enough to change his mind. Like it's not just fuel for the fire, the actions of a spoiled little boy who can't take no for an answer.
The last few stairs feel like he's being asked to climb mountains, but he does as he's told when Gator snaps at him again, pushing past him to unlock the door. He can follow him inside if he wants to, but Billy doesn't look back.
Flicking the lights on, this place couldn't feel farther than the Tillman house. No photos on the walls, no wood or stone or anything rustic to be seen. It's the standard shade of landlord white, dull laminate floors, devoid of personality. But it's his. That's the crucial part. How could he ever expect Gator to understand that when he's still living in his childhood bedroom?
Billy goes to his bedroom first, hauling a large suitcase out of the closet, throwing it onto his mattress on the floor. He unzips it, taking a large empty duffel bag out of it, unzipping that too and laying it out on the bed.
He's silent as he starts pulling clothes from his dresser drawers, throwing them into the suitcase. It's not like he has a huge wardrobe - jeans and button-down shirts, mostly. He'd been so damn proud moving in here. Finally, his life was going to start. He'd work through the summer and then get out of here for good. Then summer turned to fall, fall to winter. And now he's leaving, and it couldn't be for worse reasons.
By the time he's moved away from the dresser to open the closet, his vision is blurred with tears, blinking them away as he sniffles to himself.
His life is over, isn't it? ]